Today’s post is based on a simple concept: Compromise makes the world go round. This quality is required in any kind of relationship, whether we are at work or in our own social settings. Romantic relationships provide an easy example. Often two very different people will come together to form such a bond, so it’s inevitable, at some point, they will disagree over something. It could be something small like where to eat dinner, or a more major decision eg where to move house.
Politicians are the same; they often will disagree over serious matters concerning the smooth functioning of their countries. But in many cases (albeit under duress), they will reach some sort of middle ground in which both bodies will gain something. Lawsuits often get settled; which in itself is a trade-off. It’s everywhere. Without compromise, you would be going back and forth between each other, and your relationship will contain many unsolved issues.
In short, by compromising, we are able to reach a point in which both (or more) parties involved, usually with conflicting opinions and interests, are satisfied. But while the concept is an easy process to understand, putting it into action can be reasonably difficult at times. Here are some tips which can make life easier:
Leave your comfort zone: Due to the nature of this concept, there will be occasions when you won’t feel completely comfortable with every condition of a deal. But this is something you have to cope with. Be willing to bend slightly but not bend over backwards.
Connect honestly with what you want: This may seem simple enough but when you enter a situation where compromise is required, rarely does it happen. What you may want or require may become skewed by the knowledge that at some point, you will have to change it. This can work both ways – you will either bend towards what the other party wants, leaving you unsatisfied, even after the compromise. Or you will go so far in the other direction, any other person involved will be left disgruntled, questioning how any kind of middle ground can be reached. Either way, being honest here will triumph. When you bring your true wishes to the table, it enables both of you to start working towards an agreement; one which will leave both, not one of you happy.
Find out what the other party wants: This is just as important as the point above. Although one will usually be looking out for their best interests first, if you do want to reach an amicable decision, you must listen to the other person. You will find in most cases, there will be common elements to your requests. However, it is the differences you must concentrate upon.
Meet in the middle: It’s almost ironic that this key stage is the easiest to understand, but the hardest to implement. Once you understand your differences, work to get them as close to middle ground as possible. An unwillingness to do this will get you nowhere. Both parties must make a mutual effort – I say mutual because otherwise one side may feel hard done by. If whatever deal to be struck contains many details, then go into all the details. Don’t leave anything unturned for fear of it not working out – there are (at least) two people involved here. What and how you feel matters. Remember this: if you do not compromise, both parties will become tired and frustrated with what may appear to be a lack of effort. Eventually the relationship will breakdown; instead of ending up being halfway there, you will end up with nothing.