The Box

The box. Picture this: You are given an empty box, no bigger than cereal packaging, nothing special, just an ordinary box. You’re now told to try and fit your whole body into the box. Realistically, the most you will be able to enter the packaging is a hand, maybe a forearm if we’re lucky. The task we’ve been assigned is impossible. So why do people attempt to do this every day?

Now I do not mean that every day the Houdini within us emerges and we decide to spend time getting in and out of a box – the container I refer to is purely metaphorical. We must remember we enter new environments every day; the majority of the time we engage with new people, and I think that it’s human nature to want to create a good first impression. No one wants to be the ‘elephant in the room’ – fitting in is essential, and because of this it is easy for us to tinker and adjust our personalities, subdue and change anything about us which could interfere with new relationships formed.

However when you do decide to be something you are not – for whatever reason, be it trying to fit in or attempting to impress someone, we automatically enter ‘the box’. Just like the cereal packet, room is only provided for certain qualities – meaning much of what makes you who you are can be left behind. If it doesn’t fit in the box, it’s an almost automatic action to discard it so you can squeeze in.

Our personalities and qualities we possess are not the only casualties of this. When it came choosing courses for university, a friend told me he was stuck between two choices: something more generic, or something he had a passion for. To me, the choice was clear, why not do something you know you’ll enjoy? But to him it was different – it was about doing something that was within the norm, seen as a professional job, or something which was unusual, diverse and distinctive yet not any less valid as a degree. As a result, the more generic degree became his first of option, and he can only wonder what could’ve been.

And why do we do this? Well the box gives us a sense of security; an acceptance of sorts. And with this security comes comfort; with those comfort comes happiness, or so we think.

If the major flaw in this isn’t evident I’ll point out – when you put whatever you manage to squash into the box is not all of you, and in many cases nor is it all you can be. This means when you try and connect with others, you are unable to fully connect; in the same way, when you try and immerse yourself in work you don’t enjoy, you are unable to, and therefore do not get as much value from it. It’s a self-limiting business – and stems from the fact that a lot of us worry about how we are perceived. Our fear of perception only exists because we feel we are being judged – and we are. Once again this is human nature. Even as I sit writing this post, I encountered someone being judged: a man walked past the coffee shop window, wearing flip flops and shorts, to which the couple seated next to me used as grounds to question his sanity. Although the winter weather may call for warmer clothing, if this is what he is comfortable in, then who should judge him? Norms need to be forgotten because they are merely perceptions, and therefore neither right nor wrong, just opinion.

You can be do anything you want to do, you can be anything you want to be, as long as you stay true to yourself. We’re always going to be judged, and that’s just how life is. But we’re all far too big to be stuck in a container. By forgetting norms you essentially burn the box, which in turn removes any limits on your personality/actions, and allow you to really be you. This is when people get to know the true you. And this is when you’re able completely immerse yourself in tasks, and flourish.