Do you like being happy?
This is the question I pose to you today; how many of you enjoy being happy? I’m sure for an overwhelming number of you, it would be hard not to enjoy your happiness. Although an extremely ambiguous term, there are of course some common ideas and feelings associated with being ‘happy’. Joy and elation come to mind, excitement, achievement and Success would be mentioned by many. I like to think of it as contentment; as a general feeling of optimism, regardless of circumstances.
However you like to see it, every day we face obstacles which can prevent us from reaching this state of mind; none more influential than our own memories. I’ll use friendship as a primary example. Often life circumstances can mean the dynamic of our relationships can change – sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. When things do go downhill, it is easy to keep hankering after what used to be. To keep in mind the great memories of older days, and wish they would return, rather than trying to adjust to changes. Life is ever-changing and dynamic in its nature. Keeping both eyes on the past is likely to see you left behind and feeling ‘stuck’ – a feeling many of us know all too well.
How to avoid this ‘stuck’ sensation? Let go of the past. Suggesting you could somehow get rid of your memories would be irresponsible of me, because you can’t. Nor would I want you to forget the past because I’m sure we all possess some great memories. But I’m also sure we all have things which have happened to us, which we wish had not. This jumble of accounts are often what mould and shape our demeanours and personalities – just forgetting isn’t an option. The solution here is to redirect our focus to the present. Concentrate primarily on what is happening here and now.
What if the memories we have aren’t so great – they are actually having a negative effect? Then put your energy into writing a new future. You cannot control the past. You cannot control what has already happened. But you can accept it. You can move on. And you can take steps towards making a better future for yourself. The bad times don’t last forever, so don’t make them last forever. Approach life with a clean slate, no matter what has happened before. When you concentrate on the things you can control, you find your productivity and satisfaction levels increase. Living life in fear of history repeating itself neither increases nor decreases the odds of this happening. But it is self-limiting. Let go of the limits. Enjoy the life you deserve.
Finally, and most importantly, don’t compare. I will put my hands up and say I am as guilty of this as anyone. The ease in which one weighs up the past to with present compares Usain Bolt beating me in a race. For some it’s almost second nature to put the two side by side. Stop this. While it’s easier said than done, there aren’t many benefits to this comparative exercise. As I said before life is ever-changing; so the issues we face and successes we experience will always be different. Embrace this fact. Look forward to something new every day. It is only by doing this we are able to fully enjoy the variety which life has to offer us. Just remember this: nothing prevents happiness like the memories of happiness – and indeed, sadness as well.
